Been Away

I have been away for some time now. I had to attend some weddings and receptions, finish two psychology courses in less than two months, and spend time with family while working full time. I am exhausted but besides the wedding and receptions, nothing else has changed. I am still taking a course in psychology and am still working (thank God), plus my family still asks me to spend time with them. That is key to development for any child. How much time do you spend with your family? Consider how much time you spend working, shopping, fixing cars, or doing anything else. How can you not consider spending some more quality time with your family? So go ahead and spend some time with the kids and wife/husband, you will realize how much you are appreciated.

Passionate Loser

I apologize for mishaps in my previous blog. If you click and highlight the first paragraph, all text should be visible. I am trying to fix this, again, sorry.

What is you passion...dad/husband? Are you a sports fan? Are you a car freak? Are you a macho man? Are you interested in wine and alcohol? Are you passionate about women? Well, the list can continue on and on. All these can be destructive to and none will really help you figure out and live a family life. If you are passionate about "women", well, you are digging your own divorce grave. I have seen nothing but devastation on the face's of men and women who have gone through divorce. Exception being, of course, getting out of a physically and mentally abusive relationship. If you think that being a dad and husband are complicated, try getting out it! With all the money you will have to pay out, you might as well just be a man and try to fix your relationships. Passion for wine and alcohol can also destroy your relationships. We see these drunkards, maybe on a daily basis, as homeless individuals who look like they lost every battle in life. But one thing that destroyed them remains on their mind, alcohol. Stop loving things which have no value. Stop being passionate about other women, love your wife and be passionate about your family life.

A Love Thing

Between love and madness, lies xenophobia


Does love really rule all? Do your children love you? Do you love your children? Have you ever felt like you are a passing phase in their life? I have! There are numerous times I have felt like a passing phase in my children's and spouse's life. Although I know this is not true, it is a sad thought. We, as father's, can contribute so much to our children's learning and proper growth but we also need love and support. This is a truth that most men do not want to discuss and would rather leave it be. But it is far more important to deal with it rather than just leaving it. Fact is that once you think you do not need to deal with this, it will come back and make you think otherwise.


Men, just like women, need love and affection in order to be satisfied in a marriage or fatherly relationship. No one, male or female, seems to enjoy living in an abusive home or relationship. Love really can mend broken hearts and maintain a feeling of sanity in any home. So, men, put on the armor and hold the weapon called "love" because it will get you farther than any other feeling out there. Your relationship shall thrive with love at its core.

Ask For Help

Doesn't it seem like life is a juggling act? As a father and husband, you have so much on your plate. But man usually like to get things done without help. You are a real man if you can get things done alone. Are you? When you fail, what happens? Who do you blame? When your spouse points fingers at you and lets you know you should have asked for help, what do you say? If you have any reply other than an apology, you might just be a professional at failing! It is wise to ask for help when you need it. This can mean stopping and asking for directions at a gas station, asking your spouse for help on emotional matters, visiting a psychologist, and so on. Hey Man, Ask For Help.

Deal with Stress

Sorrows and worries can keep you awake. These emotions can interfere with family relationships. Whether its from work, school, or family related, these emotions need to be controlled. I go through these emotions as well. I find running very helpful. Television seems to work as well but only temporarily. These emotions are stress and it is better to deal with stress from the onset rather than letting it build up and consume relationships. If you feel you need to seek professional help, please do so. Relationships are hard to form but easy to break!

Communication

What does your spouse think of you? Does she think you are handsome, charming, patient, strong, loving, and caring? Does she think you are a good father and husband? Ask your spouse how she feels about you. Communicate with her about any problems you might be facing and it can open doors for her to communicate with you as well. Communication is key in any healthy relationship. 

A Father for All Seasons!

Are you man enough? Can you handle the heat? How about the cold? I am figuratively speaking, of course. Similar to the seasons of nature, our emotions and lives can change with or without notice. It does seem, sometimes, that life is like a roller coaster ride. One minute we can have families who love and support each other but the next minute they hate each other. No matter what the reason for change is, are you adaptable? Being able to adapt to any situation is an advantage to any person or animal. Men can adapt or learn to adapt. Changes will be part of life, learning to deal with them is a great skill. Many men may claim that their wives mood changes every minute! I happen to think the same. But we can't survive if we, men, are on A and she is on B. Lets adapt and survive.

Beauty in Marriage

Guys, lets be real here, women are beautiful, aren't they? One look at some women and we, men, can be completely mesmerized by their beauty. God created women and he did a marvelous work. Married men can look upon their wives and say the same thing. But as marriage progresses, it seems, couples lose interest in each others beauty and instead focus on each other's ugliness. Whoever is beautiful is also ugly, like it or not! Each one of us has some form of ugliness in us and we need to accept each other for who we are. Change is possible if couples can concentrate on each other's beauty and work together on each other's ugliness. Stay married and have children, be blessed by God.

Child Abuse

One of the most cruel crimes, which seems to be on the rise, is child abuse. Whether sexual, physical, verbal, or mental, child abuse should never be a factor in any household. There are count less horror stories of mothers participating in child abuse with fathers. What kind of parents are these? They surely do not have half a sense on how to parent. Often children become the outlet  for stress at work or in relationships. These children suffer so much that it often changes their lives. No one wants to live in any kind of terror but that is exactly what these children (and sometimes women) live in. Let us hear their cries for help and actually help get them out of such harsh situations. Men, please live like men. Hitting children, women, or anyone does not make you a man. Taking responsibility and caring for your God blessed family does make you a genuine man.

All For God

What is life all about? Why do you work? Why do you have to put up with your spouse, children, or anyone else? Your life is about God. Your work is for God. You put up with people in your life for God. God created you and is in charge of your life. I am a spiritual person and really believe that God is in charge of my life. I am writing this reluctantly but God is reassuring me that someone out there needs to hear this. My life was a mess before I was saved by Jesus Christ. I, seriously, felt like I was walking in darkness, not knowing what always made me stumble. I did not know why I was trying so hard to succeed in anything and for whom. All these issues were addressed and all questions were answered when the Lord shined his light upon me. All I say is, Amen to that brother.

Keep it Real

A man is defined varingly in different societies. In America, typically, a man is defined as being strong, handsome, well traveled, knowledgable, and having tolerance for alcohol. Where does a family man fall in these defintions? I do not see much emphasis being put on family men as being "real men" when, in fact, they are. Getting hitched, having kids, and raising your family is not for "pansies". You can see a lot of these "pansies" running away from their kids in our society. Those are not real men. Those are boys who think they are men. By the time they will stop running, it might be too late. Simple truth is that America needs real men to raise their kids. Responsibility is very evident when you interact with real men.

Revive

At church today, I was spiritually awakened and my passion for Christ was ignited again. But that was not all that happened. You see, being spiritually awakened lead me to acknowledge that I my communication with my wife needed awakening also. So, through God's grace, I conversed with my wife about her spiritual being and our communication went very well. As it follows, we have a date planned for tonight and I am looking forward to spending much needed time with my wife. Guys, I do not know if you attend church or not (I would certainly invite you to), but please do not forget to spend time with your wife and go out on a date. Reignite your passion for her.

Nice day

As I type this, I look up and see the blue sky and green tree's. God truly created beautiful things for our eye's to marvel at. How often do we, dad's, take advantage of nice day's? I just got home from work and my children are playing at a neighborhood park. I do not feel like going there. Instead, I feel like sleeping. I think that in order to relieve some stress, sleep in necessary and, maybe, then I can enjoy this beautiful weather with my kids.

Walk with swagger!!!

I am laughing at the title of this blog. "Swagger" refers to style. Every human has a style, whether its known or unknown. Some guys have lots of style during high school and college years but run on empty after marriage. Some women seem to notice this and as a result take marriage as being unattractive! It is not the marriage that is unattractive, it's the lack of care in it! Does marriage make anyone boring? Does marriage tell you to dress in a non-attractive manner? No, marriage does none of this. You do this. Men and women alike. Guys, dress up a bit, get some swagger back and spark up your marriage. Hit the gym, take showers, smell good, dress nice and keep your wife happy. I hope you can have a stylish and happy marriage forever. 

A child's perspective

Children perceive things differently than adults do. While we may consider an event sressful, they may simply consider it fun. Planning birthday parties are stressful but children do not consider the stress involved, at least not all children do. Likewise, how we men display our characters around our children can be perceived in a completely opposite way, than what we intended, by our kids. While we might be trying to act "cool", they can perceive it as acting "silly" or "childish". It is quiet alright to play around and have fun with your children by acting silly, cool, or childish but it is not beneficial to either party if you display youself in a childish manner on a daily basis. At some point in our lives, preferably after marriage or before having children, we must realize we are men and are called to act like men. That means provide, protect, and love your family whom God has blessed you with.

Explosive Anger

Have you gotten seriously mad at someone for any reason? I have and it did not feel good. It did not feel good while I was mad or even after all I said. I could only regret getting mad in the first place. I wish I would have just taken a walk outside rather than saying all I said. We, dads, do get mad about various issues. Whether work related or family, remember to keep your cool. Get in control of your anger and please do not allow it to control you. Withdraw from situations which may be too overwhelmingly annoying. Walk now, discuss later.

Maintaining Your Cool

Guys, we seem to loose it sometimes. "It" refers to our ability to regulate emotions, specifically, anger. Most people do not like to communicate with those who appear to be mad all the time. I, at work, do not like to talk to people who seem to display anger all the time. Whether it's due to stress or any other factor, anger needs to be regulated. Having said this, I also acknowledge that men are, simply, humans. All humans display various types of emotions and regulate anger differently. There is not a single "fool-proof" way to regulate anger. You have to see what works for you. Try different methods and see which brings you some success in regulating emotions. Exercising seems to be a good method for stress relief and it seems to boost positive feelings about self. Go ahead and research some more methods and find one that works for you. It can keep you from losing "it", hopefully, most of the time.

Be A Man, Raise Those Kids!

Man, I came home from work today and I feel more stressed than when I am at work!!! How is this possible? I think it has a lot to do with the fact that my family consists of two toddlers. Yeah, they are a handful. Ordinary outings to restaurants turn into a hassle when you have to ask for two highchairs, deal with food being thrown across the table, and drinks spilling all over the table. Yes, it is not easy to raise kids but it is not impossible either. Several couples wait to have kids after marriage. My wife and I waited one year but it seems that the average period for waiting is two years. I would advice couples to be certain they are ready to have children but surprises do happen! Even though it is not easy to raise kids, I still enjoy every moment of it. I hope you will find similar joy raising your children.

Work and Home

Work life and home life need to be apart. Stress of various proportions can arise if this is not so. While you may think that living your career at home is a smart choice, your spouse may think different. She might begin on the same page as you but, as you continue treating your home life like it's your career, she will begin differentiating from you. Your work is your work and your home is where your family is. Your family expects to communicate with dad or husband, not a manager, police officer, or any other occupation. Since most men take their careers and jobs seriously, it is essential to learn how to leave work at work instead of bringing it home. A few exceptions may arise. These can be careers or jobs that require you to be on call, carry work phones to be reached at any time, or similar obligations. Even with these exceptions, learning and practicing methods for stress control and budgeting out family time will be greatly appreciated by your family. Sit down with your spouse and discuss times to set aside for yourselves and with your children. This should result in much more pleasant work and home life.

That Cheesy Smile!!!!!

The mugshot! I have been guilty of this in various pictures. What I failed to realize was that every moment only comes once. No moment is ever repeated. You will never have this day again. I am typing this on April 26, 2012. I know there will not be any other April 26, 2012. Smile in those family pictures dads, they will be a way you will remembered long after you are gone. In our society, we do not seem to think about what their grandchildren will think of them but we should. We should think far into future. Enjoying your current moment in life can be reflected in your pictures. Do you want to be remembered or forgotten? Positive memories of people who have passed away seem to be of people who conveyed happiness through smiling in photographs. 

Patience

"Patience is a virtue. Possess it if you can. Seldom in women but never in men". (My grandpa). Yes, he made sure I understood the meaning of this phrase. I was taught by him to maintain patience. Problems are solved better when patience is practiced. It holds true because it seems that when you exercise patience, it gives you more time to think and contemplate ideas and solutions to a particular problem. Getting upset and mad is a natural tendency in any human being, not just men. But learning how to maintain patience can lead to success in a variety of ways. From relationships to careers, patience can improve your lifestyle.

Marriage and Money

This is a very scary topic. Many marriages end because of money mismanagement. Financial freedom is a very common goal in America and in most countries around the world. Learning how to handle money can either make or break your marriage. I will cover this topic more in future blogs but please consider these two advice's for a happier marriage. First, financial communication between you and your spouse should never hide anything. If you spent some money, let her know. If you saved some money, let her know. Both of you have to learn to be on the same page!  Either you or your spouse might be a spender or a saver. Maybe both of you are spenders or savers. Only you and your spouse know yourselves! The saver is usually better able to save but doesn't contribute much towards spending. This is essential! Some spending, such as groceries and gasoline, are necessary and should be budgeted out. Secondly, please let your spouse do some shopping! All men should know that some women love shopping. Either shopping for clothes or any other item. My wife certainly loves shopping for items for our children. I have tried stopping her without success so it was better to budget out her spending. But I did not budget her spending by myself, I also included her in the process. Learn to work together financially and build a happier marriage. 

Those Annoying Kids!!!

Kids can stress you out! One minute they are into this and the other they are into that. Wow! I feel for you dad's. I experience all these emotions too. I get happy, sad, and mad. It seems that I go through these emotions within a minute! But life does not end like this. You see, there will be a time in future when you will want your children to be, well, kids and they won't. They will be all grown up. There will be struggles at all stages in your child's/children's lives. Learning to deal with it, instead of getting mad and shutting down, is the best road to take in order for your and your child's/children's healthy development.

Quality Man

Men, we are strong and just the thought of romance can make some of us feel "girly". But, most often, romance seems to be what women want. Sometimes women want a strong man who also knows how to romance her. Our society depicts men who do not know romance. These men have positive light shed on them when it shouldn't be so. Men, be strong but don't forget to love your wife/girlfriend with that romantic love. Go buy her some flowers, go ahead and cook for her, or go ahead and take her out on a romantic date. It's not easy to be romantic but most ladies do see your trials. Make that love last.

You're on A - She's on B

Gentlemen, isn't it true that we, also, feel like our wives or girlfriends just don't get us! I seem to think so. Sometimes I feel like my wife isn't really on the same page as me. While some men out there might not get frustrated with this, I do. It's so hard to control my anger when I get frustrated with mediocre issues such as these. But it is essential to learn self control in order to be a man. You see, a man does not prove anything by resorting to anger. If you resort to anger, how do you expect to live with your significant other. I don't believe in divorce, just like any responsible man who likes to stick to his plans.

Responsible Dad

A growing problem in our society are father's who jump ship! As soon as they hear that the girl is pregnant, they run. They seem to be running from responsibility. I can't imagine leaving my daughters. There are a number of reasons why this happens but are there any specific ones? Well, I think it is due to the man's lack of regard about anyone else but himself. When you are having fun, the fun doesn't stop! That seems to be the motto and, astonishingly, it holds true! Most men who run from their pregnant girlfriends do find other women to be with. That is until they run from them as well.